Go Fish

im really not good at card games.

in my hand, I hold a pair of hearts

close to my chest, I try to hold on

but the game’s too fast and I always finish last

but magicians have a way with their hands

   they mix and mush, disappear and return

but never reveal their secrets 

cards lay crumpled in my fists

draining their color

“Do you have a two of hearts”

“….no. Go fish”

“Shuffle the deck, there’s more fish in the sea.”

im really not good at card games 


I tripped on suitcases    

        On my way in

On hands and feet

    Crawling backwards to the open door

Staring at the void in the wall

      Echoing, echoing, echoing.

The suitcases rise

      While shackles break free

Wind whooshing past and over

      My infantile figure.

Hands meant for holding

      Eyes meant for dreams

Fall onto the dust bunnies domain

      Grasping for imaginary happiness

Weeping, weeping, weeping

      Directly aside me.


      You’ll always have me.


He’s a liar; but she should’ve known
Dimples of perfection would pierce her soul

Fell in love with a phantom was all alone.

       She let him lie and it’s killing me.

She’s a liar; 

Wished for princes and twilight balcony conversations

Blinded by beauty and smooth talking

I’m a liar; but he already knew

Plotted an evening before it was set in stone.

Slithering through fresh cut green grass with no intention to stay
Bad habits die slow 


There were times when my conditioning shouted at my feminism for growing against the grain Because it’s frowned upon 

There were times when my conditioning yearned to sugarcoat every micro-aggression shadily thrown my way
There are times when I could go shooting for no reason at all Because gun control is no longer in our hands
I could go crazy

I could go off

I could burn this motha down

There were times when my conditioning allowed me to be another nigger 

Waiting to play the fiddle

Or tap dance for whatever I was told I could have
This time my conditioning does not control-


You don’t know what it feels like to not have a language

For your own kind

When it’s appropriated as a fad

To not have an understanding for your sacred language
To not have a place to call home within the borders of the imaginary lines of a country who lenses are fixated on the progression of the white race
You don’t know what it feels to be “Foreign”

Hands Up

There is a vacancy to this room
An absence of silence lingers on 

The end of bed frames

A crack screaming in the chip of the paint on the walls
I wonder if this is how mothers feel

When their sons are shot down

And the bedroom reeks of remnants of a lost soul
I throw my hands up in the air

In a sigh of relief

While young men fall to their knees

Onto bloody concrete 
I wonder if a black man is shot down in the street and a white cop sees

Do he make a sound?

You Ever Just Write?

You ever write just in case

Just in case that snowflake falls 

The cocoa boils 

And the conversation stretches out far
To write just in case

The tulips blossom

And the two lips open to fill the space between one another
To write because allergies 

Make it hard to breathe

And you sneeze and sneeze and sneeze and sneeze and sneeze 
Blessing you

With a hard drive of smooth talking

Even though it’s only smooth

On flat one sided paper
You ever write just in case

The humidity sweats it out of you

And the paper catches drip drops of silhouettes 

Of words of angst and Baltimore
You ever write

Just in case

As if

This were your last day.

Forever or A Day

My life is forever juxtaposed
By the splinter of a
Man Made America

My sheep skin
Banana peels off my body,
As it dries like a raisin in the sun of a cotton field

My innocent impending tragic life dangles
On the balls of my poptart yearning body

Lollipop stolen by the dog next door
From the mouth of a teenager relaxing on the phone

My life is forever
Just one penis away
From being sweet and sour, as a pineapple,
Rabbit fucked by a “supposed to be seemingly harmless man”

A vigorous struggle
Of looking over my shoulder
And knowing the world steadily gets colder

My life will never be forever