“You hold a lot of tension in your lips-”
“Yes.”
“That wasn’t a question-”
“Oh. Yes okay, go on.”
“You please people a lot-”
“Yes-”
“Will you let me finish?”
“Sorry. Yes. Go on.”
“Is that the only thing you can say?”
“Yes?”
“Yes.”
“Yes- I mean n-”
“Why-”
“Why what?”
“Why do you always..”
“Yes?”
“YES”
“Are you a yes woman?”
“…No.”
There was a solemn silence and her answer drifted from one mouth to receiving ears.
“Good.”
I made too much room,
In my home with no foundation;
For a person who
Didn’t plan on paying rent,
Didn’t intend on using the dresser drawer-
that I reserved for them,
Who didn’t want to furnish the basement.
I made too much space,
In my life with an tentative driveway;
For a person who
Put me on the back burner,
Put me on bottom shelf of the broken bookcase,
Who put me in second place.
That house is no longer up for sale-
Highest bidder agreed-
“‘Twas time to go-”
“Mmhmm.” I replied, scanning the roof shingles, hanging on by one collective nail, awaiting a big bad wind to blow it down, lifting up from its place ever so slightly knowing it must stay put til’ told to let go.
Like Pipes in Winter, I burst.
Like Dawn at 5, I break.
Like Doves in the Wind, I release.
Left:
I’msorry!ILoveyou!Iwantyou. . .
IWasAnAsshole
Come back here
ShewasnothingtomeIswear. . .
You are my everything
Don’tleaveme!
You’re not leaving me
I’msorry!ILoveyou!Iwantyou!
I didn’t mean it. I didn’tmean it. I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean it
Right:
*Silence*
The silence pains me more than the lies, you spat at me,
you swore were truth.
Almost as if my heart pushes one side of me
to listen, to care, to forgive.
Your mouth moves like rapid fire
as it licks up the side of my heart
burning my lungs.
Exasperated.
How am I to respond appropriately. . .
“Fuck You.”
I would like you to know
that I almost hate you
almost-as in
“You’ve got approximately 42 seconds to respond
to my text”
As in, you’ve got 1/2 a strike left
As in, I wish you weren’t such a fucking mess
I would like you to know
that the door is over yonder
Over yonder- as in
I’m over and under wandering and wondering
of you
As in, I will hold the door open for you
As in, you walk through anytime you please to
I would like you to know
that I would like you
but I almost hate you…
It’s weird you know
to feel this good
without it being at the
hands
of a man or a woman
To feel good
asexually
singularly
alonely
is it a shift in dichotomy?
Of empowering femininity?
Or maybe it’s just me
Settling in on I
The earth seems to stop
Allowing me to move freely
Now this is true
Happiness
How do you break up with someone?
How does one properly severe a tie?
How do you carelessly hatch away
without the other people falling down?
Do you guilt strangle them…
“Do you remember who you were to me?”
Do you cry….
“I just can’t do this anymore.”
Do you lie….
“We can just be friends.
How do you leave when you want but can’t stay?
How does one turn their back on something they enjoyed?
How do you end a bond?
How do you do?
The more I see
The more I know
that I don’t know anything
at all…
No matter where we drift apart
There’ll be a shelf of you in my heart
Of all of the good things
The good things
Not how you pushed me and broke my glass mug
But how you glued it together to mend my heart
Not how you accused me of cheating
But how you held me tight in warm big arms and told me you loved me
It’s all of the good things
The good things
That make you a real person to me
And not a used mannequin in the ex-boyfriend gallery
An eternal sunshine
For a relationship that has set
(Lights up on a girl sitting center stage in a chair of her pink and girly bedroom)
Summer Lovin’ is always a blast. That feeling you have when you can call someone your own. When you can go home as soon as the phone rings you know it’s them. It’s when your heart pounds against the walls of your chest on the verge of breaking out just so that it can be in sync with yours. (Giggles) It’s that moment when you can talk to someone for hours at a time about absolutely nothing important, just randomness. It’s the moment when one without them feels like eternity.
When goodnight feels like goodbye, when a held hand never wants to be let go. When laughter between kisses becomes something more. When sex becomes love.
And that’s when it ends. I balk at the end of summer because my love won’t matter once august ends and September comes. I balk the door leading to fall because this love won’t be coming along. It’ll remain forever locked up and put deep away inside my subconscious heart. Never to return to the light of day again.
(Pause. Then stands up.)
if only Randal Klesier directed my life would this love follow me and sweep me off my feet rather than haunting me.
but no, this isn’t Grease and I’m no sandy. But you’re the one that I want! But I can’t have you so I suppose these tears on my pillow will be the only one keeping me company when august rolls around.
(Slowly begins to walk off stage right while she says)
Goodbye summer, I hate to see you go…
FIN.
Grease inspired this Summer Lovin’
I. Vow. To. Simply. Be. Me.
This weeks theme: Fictional Non-fiction
This week I kind of challenged myself to Black and white. (I’ll upload my film photos on Wednesday) I got the idea from my internship where one if the daily themes was just a random picture, so i went with that. As far as the writing went, I underwent a breakthrough moment in my writing.
This week it was hard for me because I struggled with trying to sound overly sophisticated like some of the blogs I follow here on WordPress. I wanted to sound like I belonged to some secret society for the literary world but I had to come to terms with myself and realize that that’s not me.
I’ve learned that I cannot try to be someone I am not. It’s one thing to strengthen my vocabulary but it’s another to not be Monet.
I’ve learned.
“Passion for the finer things and you know that it’s only getting worse. I ain’t got no diamond ring but I know that I’m gunna make it work.” -Justine Skye
HairTie Chronicles 